After 3 failed marriages, 43 year old woman refused to give up on love.

Overcoming emotional abuse, losing my best friend and finding love again

Winnie Njeri, a petite woman with a heart as big as the Kenyan plains, had weathered life’s storms with a resilience that belied her gentle demeanor. At 43, she had experienced the bittersweet taste of love in 3 failed marriages, each marriage ending in a divorce that left her bruised but not broken.

Her First Marriage

Her first marriage, to a promising young lawyer named James Mugo, had been a whirlwind romance filled with dreams of a future together.

“James was my first love,” says Winnie, “and the father to my only son.” She was married to James in a lavish church ceremony attended by over 800 people back in 2004. Young and in-love, 23-year-old Njeri saw an eternity with the love of her life, who was her first boyfriend.

During the first 5 years of marriage, James was the epitome of a true husband. He provided, he was home always on time and even helped with their son. At that time, Winnie was a full-time stay at home mom, and a home-maker. She served at her local church diligently and always gave generously to those in her care groups. James’ career quickly catapulted, and their life changed for the better financially. They were more than comfortable. James was making more than they had ever imagined or planned for, and this change was the mark that turned the course of their marriage for the worst.

Winnie recalls one very memorable instance that she started to question whether her husband loved her. As a norm, she always packed lunch for her husband to have at work but on this day, she decided to personally deliver the lunch to his office. She had been there a few times since they got married, but she was not acquainted with his workmates, James liked his work-life and home-life separate.

When she arrived at the secretary’s desk, she inquired of her husband’s availability and she was asked to wait as the secretary went to his office to check on him. While she was in the waiting bay, she recalls her husband storming in and grabbing her by the hand, forcing her to walk with him out of the office. She could not believe the welcome she received from someone who kissed her goodbye that same morning.

Using a stern but whispery voice James asked, “Unafanya nini hapa bila kuniambia?” Winnie could not understand the harsh reception. She was shocked, waving his lunch in attempts to explain why she had come. He grabbed the lunch bag and rudely asked her to go home. This was the first of many instances James disrespected Winnie.

Later she discovered the multiple affairs he was having at work, and the praises he had among women, even those that were his clients. Since she was just a housewife with no income, fully dependent on her husband, she had no option but to stay in what was now a love-less and emotionally abusive marriage. In 2011, Winnie got pregnant again, with her second child. This was a beam of hope, as James became mindful, refraining from being rude and spent lesser nights outside.

A fatal accident and miscarriage

In her fourth month of pregnancy, she got into an accident on her way to see her sister in Makutano. She lost her child, and got multiple fractures on her ribs. Her womb also had to be removed because of the injuries she sustained. Not once did James come to see her in the hospital. At this point Winnie’s family had begun to see the pain she was going through with her emotionally abusive husband.

He cheated, lied and tortured her mentally. He would go for days without talking to her even while living in the same house. When she left the hospital she had resolved to leave her marriage. But deep inside she hoped James would pursue her, and hopefully change back to the man she married.

She went back, packed her and her son’s things, and went to Makutano to stay with her sister, together with her son. She transferred her son to a local school, and began helping her sister with her farming supply business. James was unbothered, even allowing women to their matrimonial home. She tried to reach out but James had blocked all her attempts. Including her Father’s attempts to reach him. He often told their mutual friends he was tired of a lazy woman and he had found an ambitious woman he wanted to marry.

Battling Depression and Leaving Her First Marriage

Winnie got into deep depression, to top it off, no one reached out during this period. Never in her life did she envision a failed marriage, or being unable to fend for her son. Her son often asked why they lived with Aunty Liz, and demanded to see his dad from time to time. He was only 7 years old and could not piece together all that was going on. She had no savings, no work experience and no connections, so getting a job was so hard at this point. Helping her sister Liz with her business was helping her with her basic needs and son’s fee, but that was not sufficient for her to start anew.

She lived with Liz for 3 years, and by the grace of God she says, she landed a job as an office admin. This was for one of the church women that walked with her after the separation, she was not divorced at this point. This allowed her to move back to Nairobi, Pangani area. Things began to look up, her heart was healing but she still felt bitter about her failed marriage. She was also bitter coz of the harsh treatment she received from people she called friends.

A painful new beginning

At 34, she started to build from scratch after her first failed marriage. At that time she could only afford a single room, and her son luckily was accepted into one of the local public schools. He was now adopted to being fatherless, and James never reached out to this point, so it made it easier for him to move on. Winnie’s sister still helped here and there, but she succumbed to cancer in 2017. This was another blow Winnie had to endure.

“My sister was my best friend. She always had my back. She shielded me from a lot of negative comments from my family after the separation, and nursed me back to health after my accident. She appreciated having me around, even when I felt like a burden to her. Losing her was losing a part of me.”

Winnie narrated with tears in her eyes. She never imagined losing her sister, and best friend after her failed marriage. She felt like the pain became worse because the only person who understood her and gave her comfort was gone. Her cancer was discovered too late to save her, but they spent the most of her last days together.

Another failed marriage attempt

During her years as an office admin, she met a lot of people, one being her second husband, Okore, the kindest, most gentle man you have ever seen, as she described. At this point, she had finally got a divorce from James and was open to finding love again.

“He was gentle in spirit, and granted my every request as we were dating. He was almost too good for me. “Winnie said with a smirk on her face.

Okore was determined to Marry Winnie, but Winnie did not disclose her inability to bear kids. Their marriage didnt last long, as Okore’s compulsive need to have kids of his own eventually brought irreparable differences between them. And they amicably decided to get a divorce after 4 years of marriage.

Husband number 3: A new abuser, re-living my first marriage

Her third marriage, to a charming Kisii man named Barongo , had held the promise of a fresh start. But Barongo’s gambling addiction and violent outbursts cast a shadow over their relationship. The final straw came when Barongo physically abused Winnie, leaving her with bruises and a broken spirit.

Despite the heartache and setbacks, Winnie refused to give up on love. She believed that somewhere out there, a man who would cherish and respect her was waiting. She poured her energy into her new business of event planning, finding solace in creating love-memories for others. Yet another failed marriage.

All hope was not lost: Finding love again

One day, while attending a friend’s event, Winnie met a handsome and charismatic man named Samuel. Samuel was a successful entrepreneur with a kind heart and a gentle spirit. They were drawn to each other immediately, and their friendship blossomed into a romantic relationship.

As their love grew deeper, Winnie found herself falling head over heels for Samuel. He was everything she had been looking for: a supportive partner, a loving companion, and a true friend. However, their happiness was not without its challenges.

Samuel’s family, particularly his mother, Lucy, was initially resistant to their relationship. Lucy was a traditional woman who believed that Winnie’s past divorces made her unfit for her son. She tried to sabotage their relationship, spreading rumors and sowing discord.

But Winnie and Samuel were determined to prove her wrong. They weathered the storm, their love growing stronger with each passing day. Eventually, Lucy came around, realizing that her son was truly happy with Winnie.

heir wedding was a joyous occasion, filled with love, laughter, and celebration. Winnie walked down the aisle in a stunning white gown, her heart filled with hope and gratitude. As she said her vows, she knew that she had finally found the love she had been searching for.

As Winnie and Samuel embarked on their journey as a married couple, they faced new challenges and opportunities. They were blessed with a beautiful baby boy, whom they named Mwangi. Winnie’s life was finally complete.

Winnie’s story is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. Despite facing 3 failed marriages, she never gave up on love. Her journey is a reminder that true happiness can be found even in the darkest of times.

Disclaimer:

While the events depicted in this story are true, the names of the individuals involved have been changed to protect their privacy. We have taken steps to ensure the accuracy and authenticity of the narrative, but certain details may have been altered or omitted for the sake of clarity or to safeguard the identities of those involved.

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